नव वर्ष 2016 में बेहतर जीवन के लिए 20 टिप्स :

1. प्रतिदिन 10 से 30 मिनट टहलने की आदत बनायें. टहलते समय चेहरे पर मुस्कराहट रखें.

2. प्रतिदिन कम से कम 10 मिनट चुप रहकर बैठें.

3. पिछले साल की तुलना में इस साल ज्यादा पुस्तकें पढ़ें.

4. 70 साल की उम्र से अधिक आयु के बुजुर्गों और 6 साल से कम आयु के बच्चों के साथ भी कुछ समय व्यतीत करें.

5. प्रतिदिन खूब पानी पियें.

6. प्रतिदिन कम से कम तीन लोगों के चेहरे पर मुस्कान लाने की कोशिश करें.

7. गपशप पर अपनी कीमती ऊर्जा बर्बाद न करें.

8. अतीत के मुद्दों को भूल जायें, अतीत की गलतियों को अपने जीवनसाथी को याद न दिलायें.

9. एहसास कीजिये कि जीवन एक स्कूल है और आप यहां सीखने के लिये आये हैं. जो समस्याएं आप यहाँ देखते हैं, वे पाठ्यक्रम का हिस्सा हैं. 

10. एक राजा की तरह नाश्ता, एक राजकुमार की तरह दोपहर का भोजन और एक भिखारी की तरह रात का खाना खायें.

11. दूसरों से नफरत करने में अपना समय व ऊर्जा बर्बाद न करें. नफरत के लिए ये जीवन बहुत छोटा है. 

12. आपको हर बहस में जीतने की जरूरत नहीं है, असहमति पर भी अपनी सहमति दें.

13. अपने जीवन की तुलना दूसरों से न करें. 

14. गलती के लिये गलती करने वाले को माफ करना सीखें.

15. ये सोचना आपका काम नहीं कि दूसरे लोग आपके बारे में क्या सोचते हैं.

16. समय ! सब घाव भर देता है. 

17. ईर्ष्या करना समय की बर्बादी है. जरूरत का सब कुछ आपके पास है. 

18. प्रतिदिन दूसरों का कुछ भला करें. 

19. जब आप सुबह जगें तो अपने माता-पिता को धन्यवाद दें, क्योंकि माता-पिता की कुशल परवरिश के कारण आप इस दुनियां में हैं.

20. हर उस व्यक्ति को ये संदेश शेयर करें जिसकी आप परवाह करते हैं.

"प्रशंसा" से "पिंघलना" मत,

"आलोचना" से "उबलना" मत,

निस्वार्थ भाव से कर्म करे...!

क्योंकि इस "धरा" का, 

इस "धरा" पर

 सब "धरा" रह जाऐगा...!,

U must know that love is eternal

It has its crests and troughs

What matters is u hold my hand tightly 

And never let your hand slip

Whatever be our destiny 

We will cherish it together 

Just have trust n faith in me 

Have no fear 

The life is small

Clock in ticking

Lets not get bogged down by small details 

Lets get working 

We should be true to ourselves

N know what is closest to our hearts 

Lets not live a life which is a mirage

Just strip it down

Look at the smallest gestures 

Find the love and happiness in those unforeseen corners 

The silhouette of life hides smallest of joys 

Lets find those pearls , lets play with them n not get bored 

Then u will know the truth 

May be thats the way  

Our spirits intertwined

Will dance together to the faintest of the sounds 

That  wind chimes of  life produce

28/12/15 22:00:49: Jagdish Tiwari: A beautiful story...

एक बार एक शिक्षक संपन्न परिवार से सम्बन्ध रखने

वाले एक युवा शिष्य के साथ कहीं टहलने निकले .

उन्होंने देखा की रास्ते में पुराने हो चुके एक जोड़ी जूते

उतरे पड़े हैं

, जो संभवतः पास के खेत में काम कर रहे गरीब मजदूर के

थे जो अब अपना काम ख़त्म कर घर वापस जाने की

तयारी कर रहा था .शिष्य को मजाक सूझा उसने

शिक्षक से कहा , “ गुरु जी क्यों न हम ये जूते कहीं

छिपा कर झाड़ियों के पीछे छिप जाएं ; जब वो मजदूर

इन्हें यहाँ नहीं पाकर घबराएगा तो बड़ा मजा

आएगा !!” शिक्षक गंभीरता से बोले , “ किसी गरीब के

साथ इस तरह का भद्दा मजाक करना ठीक नहीं है .

क्यों ना हम इन जूतों में कुछ सिक्के डाल दें और छिप कर

देखें की इसका मजदूर पर क्या प्रभाव पड़ता है !!”शिष्य

ने ऐसा ही किया और दोनों पास की झाड़ियों में छुप

गए .मजदूर जल्द ही अपना काम ख़त्म कर जूतों की जगह

पर आ गया . उसने जैसे ही एक पैर जूते में डाले उसे किसी

कठोर चीज का आभास हुआ , उसने जल्दी से जूते हाथ में

लिए और देखा की अन्दर कुछ सिक्के पड़े थे , उसे बड़ा

आश्चर्य हुआ और वो सिक्के हाथ में लेकर बड़े गौर से उन्हें

पलट -पलट कर देखने लगा . फिर उसने इधर -उधर देखने

लगा , दूर -दूर तक कोई नज़र नहीं आया तो उसने सिक्के

अपनी जेब में डाल लिए . अब उसने दूसरा जूता उठाया ,

उसमे भी सिक्के पड़े थे …मजदूर भावविभोर हो गया ,

उसकी आँखों में आंसू आ गए , उसने हाथ जोड़ ऊपर देखते

हुए कहा – “हे भगवान् , समय पर प्राप्त इस सहायता के

लिए उस अनजान सहायक का लाख -लाख धन्यवाद ,

उसकी सहायता और दयालुता के कारण आज मेरी

बीमार पत्नी को दावा और भूखें बच्चों को रोटी

मिल सकेगी .” मजदूर की बातें सुन शिष्य की आँखें भर

आयीं . शिक्षक ने शिष्य से कहा – “ क्या तुम्हारी

मजाक वाली बात की अपेक्षा जूते में सिक्का डालने

से तुम्हे कम ख़ुशी मिली ?” शिष्य बोला , “ आपने आज

मुझे जो पाठ पढाया है , उसे मैं जीवन भर नहीं भूलूंगा .

आज मैं उन शब्दों का मतलब समझ गया हूँ जिन्हें मैं पहले

कभी नहीं समझ पाया था कि लेने की अपेक्षा देना

कहीं अधिक आनंददायी है . देने का आनंद असीम है!

🌺🌸🍂🍃🌹🌺🙏🏻☺😊

29/12/15 10:10:18: +91 94155 86902: 🌹 सुन्दर सन्देश🌹

"जीवन में आपसे कौन मिलेगा-

ये समय तय करेगा .

जीवन में आप किससे मिलेंगे

ये आपका दिल तय करेगा ।

पर

जीवन मे आप किस किस के दिल में बने रहेगे

यह आपका व्यवहार तय करेगा।"

          

      🌻आज का दिन शुभ हो🌻

Who is packing your parachute?

Air Commodore Vishal was a Jet Pilot. In a combat mission his fighter plane was destroyed by a missile. He however ejected himself and parachuted safely. He won acclaims and appreciations from many.

After five years one day he was sitting with his wife in a restaurant. A man from another table came to him and said "You're Captain Vishal ! You flew jet fighters. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Vishal.

"I packed your parachute," the man smiled and replied.

Vishal gasped in surprise and gratitude and thought if parachute hadn't worked, I wouldn’t be here today.

 Vishal couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. He wondered how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, he was a fighter pilot and that person was just a safety worker"

So friends, who is packing your parachute?

Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. 

We need many kinds of parachutes when our plane is shot down – we need the physical parachute, the mental parachute, the emotional parachute, and the spiritual parachute. 

We call on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important.

We may fail to smile, say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason.

As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize the people who pack your parachute. 

😊 I just want to THANK everyone who packed my parachute this year one way or the other - through your words, deeds, prayers !!

अक्ल बाटने लगे विधाता,

             लंबी लगी कतारें ।

सभी आदमी खड़े हुए थे,

            कहीं नहीं थी नारें ।

सभी नारियाँ कहाँ रह गई.

          था ये अचरज भारी ।

पता चला ब्यूटी पार्लर में,

          पहुँच गई थी सारी।

मेकअप की थी गहन प्रक्रिया,

           एक एक पर भारी ।

बैठी थीं कुछ इंतजार में,

          कब आएगी बारी ।

उधर विधाता ने पुरूषों में,

         अक्ल बाँट दी सारी ।

ब्यूटी पार्लर से फुर्सत पाकर,

        जब पहुँची सब नारी ।

बोर्ड लगा था स्टॉक ख़त्म है,

        नहीं अक्ल अब बाकी ।

रोने लगी सभी महिलाएं ,

        नींद खुली ब्रह्मा की ।

पूछा कैसा शोर हो रहा है,

         ब्रह्मलोक के द्वारे ?

पता चला कि स्टॉक अक्लका,

          पुरुष ले गए सारे ।

ब्रह्मा जी ने कहा देवियों ,

          बहुत देर कर दी है ।

जितनीभी थी अक्ल वो मैंने,

          पुरुषों में भर दी है ।

लगी चीखने महिलाये ,

         ये कैसा न्याय तुम्हारा?

कुछ भी करो हमें तो चाहिए.

          आधा भाग हमारा ।

पुरुषो में शारीरिक बल है,

          हम ठहरी अबलाएं ।

अक्ल हमारे लिए जरुरी ,

         निज रक्षा कर पाएं ।

सोचकर दाढ़ी सहलाकर ,

         तब बोले ब्रह्मा जी ।

एक वरदान तुम्हे देता हूँ ,

         अब हो जाओ राजी ।

थोड़ी सी भी हँसी तुम्हारी ,

         रहे पुरुष पर भारी ।

कितना भी वह अक्लमंद हो,

         अक्ल जायेगी मारी ।

एक औरत ने तर्क दिया,

        मुश्किल बहुत होती है।

हंसने से ज्यादा महिलाये,

        जीवन भर रोती है ।

ब्रह्मा बोले यही कार्य तब,

        रोना भी कर देगा ।

औरत का रोना भी नर की,

        अक्ल हर लेगा ।

एक अधेड़ बोली बाबा ,

       हंसना रोना नहीं आता ।

झगड़े में है सिद्धहस्त हम,

       खूब झगड़ना भाता ।

ब्रह्मा बोले चलो मान ली,

       यह भी बात तुम्हारी ।

झगडे के आगे भी नर की,

       अक्ल जायेगी मारी ।

ब्रह्मा बोले सुनो ध्यान से,

       अंतिम वचन हमारा ।

तीन शस्त्र अब तुम्हे दिए.

       पूरा न्याय हमारा ।

इन अचूक शस्त्रों में भी,

       जो मानव नहीं फंसेगा ।निश्चित समझो, 

       उसका घर नहीं बसेगा ।

कहे कवि मित्र ध्यान से,

       सुन लो बात हमारी ।

बिना अक्ल के भी होती है,

       नर पर नारी भारी।

This post is a rage among US Indians . I loved it too.

Things were going exactly as Srinivasan had feared, his Mother would come in from India and crush his American way of life under her strong South Indian influence. For a genetic scientist like Vasu, as Srinivasan was called by his friends, the only kind of order was disorder. So consumed he was by his research that the world and it's affairs mattered little to him. When his last girlfriend walked out on him, "Find a girl on planet Srinivasan," she had screamed as she stomped out.

Now Vasu's Mother had taken over the administration of the planet. It irritated him, this milk at night and chywanprash every morning. "Have you been wearing the same pair of Jeans for the past three days?" Mother was beginning her morning interrogation.

Vasu stared at the hot idlis in front of him, the chywanprash to follow and the wardrobe interrogation that had begun. Something snapped in his mind. "Mom I love you and I love that you come all the way from India to take care of me but plesse don't fuss over me! It irritates me!  And then I cannot work!"

His Mother did not really care if Vasu was upset, "The idlis are getting cold," was her matter of fact response.

"You don't really care, do you Mom?"

"I care about you Vasu. The work you do is alright. If you don't do it, someone else will do it."

"Mom, I am genetic scientist. I am working on the evolution of man. Theory of evolution, Charles Darwin, have you heard of him? " Vasu was exasperated with her unwillingness to understand. His Mother sat down next to him and smiled, "I know Darwin, Vasu. I also know that what you think he discovered was old news in India."

" Yeah sure Mom!" Vasu said with sarcasm.

"Well if you are too smart then listen to this, " his Mother countered." Have you heard of Dashavatar? The ten avatars of Vishnu?" Vasu nodded. "Then let me tell you what you and Mr. Darwin don't know. The first avatar was the Matsya avatar, it means the fish. That is because life began in the water. Is that not right?" Vasu began to listen with a little more attention.

"Then came the Kurma Avatar, which means the tortoise, cause life moved from the water to the land. The amphibian. So the Tortoise denoted the evolution from sea to land. Third was the Varaha, the wild boar, which meant the wild animals with not much intellect, you call them the Dinosaurs, correct? " Vasu nodded wide eyed.

"The fourth avatar was the Narasimha avatar, half man and half animal, the evolution from wild animals to intelligent beings. Fifth the Waman avatar, the midget or dwarf, who could grow really tall. Do you know why that is? Cause there were two kinds of humans, Homo Erectus and the Homo Sapiens and Homo Sapiens won that battle." Vasu could see that his Mother was in full flow and he was stupefied.

"The Sixth avatar was Parshuram, the man who wielded the axe, the man who was a cave and forest dweller. Angry, and not social but the seventh avatar  was Ram, the first thinking social being, who laid out the laws of society and the basis of all relationships. The eight avatar was Krishna, the statesman, the politician, the lover who played the game of society and taught how to live and thrive in the social structure. The Ninth avatar, the Buddha, the man who rose from Narasimha and found man's true nature. The nature of Buddha, he identified man's final quest of enlightenment. And finally, my boy, will come Kalki, the man you are working on. The man who will be genetically supreme."

Vasu looked at his Mother speechless. "This is amazing Mom, how did you.. This makes sense!"

"Yes it does Vasu! Now have your chywanprash! "

Is kavita ko sabhi groups me send karen please.....

☝🏻एक बार इस कविता को 

💘दिल से पढ़िये

😋शब्द शब्द में गहराई है...

⛺जब आंख खुली तो अम्मा की

⛺गोदी का एक सहारा था

⛺उसका नन्हा सा आंचल मुझको

⛺भूमण्डल से प्यारा था

🌹उसके चेहरे की झलक देख

🌹चेहरा फूलों सा खिलता था

🌹उसके स्तन की एक बूंद से

🌹मुझको जीवन मिलता था

👄हाथों से बालों को नोंचा

👄पैरों से खूब प्रहार किया

👄फिर भी उस मां ने पुचकारा

👄हमको जी भर के प्यार किया

🌹मैं उसका राजा बेटा था

🌹वो आंख का तारा कहती थी

🌹मैं बनूं बुढापे में उसका

🌹बस एक सहारा कहती थी

🌂उंगली को पकड. चलाया था

🌂पढने विद्यालय भेजा था

🌂मेरी नादानी को भी निज

🌂अन्तर में सदा सहेजा था

🌹मेरे सारे प्रश्नों का वो

🌹फौरन जवाब बन जाती थी

🌹मेरी राहों के कांटे चुन

🌹वो खुद गुलाब बन जाती थी

👓मैं बडा हुआ तो कॉलेज से

👓इक रोग प्यार का ले आया

👓जिस दिल में मां की मूरत थी

👓वो रामकली को दे आया

🌹शादी की पति से बाप बना

🌹अपने रिश्तों में झूल गया

🌹अब करवाचौथ मनाता हूं

🌹मां की ममता को भूल गया

☝🏻हम भूल गये उसकी ममता

☝🏻मेरे जीवन की थाती थी

☝🏻हम भूल गये अपना जीवन

☝🏻वो अमृत वाली छाती थी

🌹हम भूल गये वो खुद भूखी

🌹रह करके हमें खिलाती थी

🌹हमको सूखा बिस्तर देकर

🌹खुद गीले में सो जाती थी

💻हम भूल गये उसने ही

💻होठों को भाषा सिखलायी थी

💻मेरी नीदों के लिए रात भर

💻उसने लोरी गायी थी

🌹हम भूल गये हर गलती पर

🌹उसने डांटा समझाया था

🌹बच जाउं बुरी नजर से

🌹काला टीका सदा लगाया था

🏯हम बडे हुए तो ममता वाले

🏯सारे बन्धन तोड. आए

🏯बंगले में कुत्ते पाल लिए

🏯मां को वृद्धाश्रम छोड आए

🌹उसके सपनों का महल गिरा कर

🌹कंकर-कंकर बीन लिए

🌹खुदग़र्जी में उसके सुहाग के

🌹आभूषण तक छीन लिए

👑हम मां को घर के बंटवारे की

👑अभिलाषा तक ले आए

👑उसको पावन मंदिर से

👑गाली की भाषा तक ले आए

🌹मां की ममता को देख मौत भी

🌹आगे से हट जाती है

🌹गर मां अपमानित होती

🌹धरती की छाती फट जाती है

💧घर को पूरा जीवन देकर

💧बेचारी मां क्या पाती है

💧रूखा सूखा खा लेती है

💧पानी पीकर सो जाती है

🌹जो मां जैसी देवी घर के

🌹मंदिर में नहीं रख सकते हैं

🌹वो लाखों पुण्य भले कर लें

🌹इंसान नहीं बन सकते हैं

✋🏻मां जिसको भी जल दे दे

✋🏻वो पौधा संदल बन जाता है

✋🏻मां के चरणों को छूकर पानी

✋🏻गंगाजल बन जाता है

🌹मां के आंचल ने युगों-युगों से

🌹भगवानों को पाला है

🌹मां के चरणों में जन्नत है

🌹गिरिजाघर और शिवाला है

🚩हिमगिरि जैसी उंचाई है

🚩सागर जैसी गहराई है

🚩दुनियां में जितनी खुशबू है

🚩मां के आंचल से आई है

🌹मां कबिरा की साखी जैसी

🌹मां तुलसी की चौपाई है

🌹मीराबाई की पदावली

🌹खुसरो की अमर रूबाई है

🙏मां आंगन की तुलसी जैसी

🙏पावन बरगद की छाया है

🙏मां वेद ऋचाओं की गरिमा

🙏मां महाकाव्य की काया है

🌹मां मानसरोवर ममता का

🌹मां गोमुख की उंचाई है

🌹मां परिवारों का संगम है

🌹मां रिश्तों की गहराई है

👏🏻मां हरी दूब है धरती की

👏🏻मां केसर वाली क्यारी है

👏🏻मां की उपमा केवल मां है

👏🏻मां हर घर की फुलवारी है

🌹सातों सुर नर्तन करते जब

🌹कोई मां लोरी गाती है

🌹मां जिस रोटी को छू लेती है

🌹वो प्रसाद बन जाती है

👍🏻मां हंसती है तो धरती का

👍🏻ज़र्रा-ज़र्रा मुस्काता है

👍🏻देखो तो दूर क्षितिज अंबर

👍🏻धरती को शीश झुकाता है

🌹माना मेरे घर की दीवारों में

🌹चन्दा सी मूरत है

🌹पर मेरे मन के मंदिर में

🌹बस केवल मां की मूरत है

👌मां सरस्वती लक्ष्मी दुर्गा

👌अनुसूया मरियम सीता है

👌मां पावनता में रामचरित

👌मानस है भगवत गीता है

🌹अम्मा तेरी हर बात मुझे

🌹वरदान से बढकर लगती है

🌹हे मां तेरी सूरत मुझको

🌹भगवान से बढकर लगती है

☔सारे तीरथ के पुण्य जहां

☔मैं उन चरणों में लेटा हूं

☔जिनके कोई सन्तान नहीं

☔मैं उन मांओं का बेटा हूं

🌹हर घर में मां की पूजा हो

🌹ऐसा संकल्प उठाता हूं

🌹मैं दुनियां की हर मां के

🌹चरणों में ये शीश झुकाता हूं...

> Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky: 
> 1) Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right 
> 2) Be open to new experiences and breaking Ur normal routine 
> 3) Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well 
> 4) Visualize Urself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call. 
> Have a Lucky day and work for it... "
> 
> The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect." 
> 
> " There is a great difference  between "worry"  &  "concern", 
> A worried person only sees the problem & a concerned person solves the problem..!"
> 
> TO BE LUCKY OR UNLUCKY - it is by  practice and choice.

It feels good to receive a compliment. Compliments bring positive feelings that come because someone has noticed something about you they deemed worthy of praise. Compliments are important components of sociability and are also useful devices for beginning conversations. For some, giving compliments is an uncomfortable venture because of uncertainties. If you can relate to this anxiety, start at Step 1 to learn how to suitably give compliments.

Ad

EditPart One of Three:
Complimenting Correctly

1. 
   

   
   1
   Be genuine. When you say compliments that you don't mean, people can almost always tell. If you really mean the thing you say, they'll be much more likely to believe you and feel good about what you say.

   • Try to look someone in the eye when you compliment them. This helps show that you mean what you're saying.
     
     

     
   • Being specific in your compliment will also make that compliment sound more genuine. For example, saying "That sweater looks nice on you" isn't nearly as nice sounding as "Your eyes just sparkle when you wear that color".
2. 
   

   
   2
   Be respectful. Make sure what you're saying to someone isn't offensive, even if you "mean it to be a compliment". If your compliment is based on their race or their physical appearance, you're venturing into dangerous territory. If your compliment comes with a qualifier (ex. "You look nice for a..."), you probably should just keep it to yourself.

   • For example, telling a woman that she looks so pretty when she wears makeup (which implies that she isn't pretty normally). Another example would be racist compliments, such as saying that a guy is "smart for a black dude".
3. 
   

   
   3
   Time compliments carefully. There are some compliments which are inappropriate in certain situations. Make sure you look at the context of what's going on before you compliment someone.

   • For example, complimenting a female coworker on her appearance after she's just given a presentation is demeaning and belittles the hard work she just put in.
   • If you're complimenting someone on doing something very well, such as preparing a meal or giving a great presentation, you should try to do it at the time, in front of everyone else. Having witnesses validates the compliment and gives the receiver a feeling of respect.
     
     

     
4. 
   

   
   4
   Don't make it about you. Don't turn a compliment towards someone into a conversation about you. This makes you seem self-centered, and like you only complimented them to fish compliments for yourself or make the conversation about you.

   • For example, don't say something like "You did such a good job with that thing last week. I couldn't have done that. I'm rubbish at it."
   Advertisement

EditPart Two of Three:
Finding Things to Compliment

1. 
   

   
   1
   Let it come in the moment. The best way to ensure that you sound genuine is to compliment someone when the positive thought comes to you. Basically: speak your mind! If you want to say something nice to someone, just do it instead of planning it out.
2. 
   

   
   2
   Focus on things they control. When you're complimenting someone, it's best to focus on complimenting things that are under their control (such as their personality, their accomplishments, etc.). This will help them to feel secure in that positive feedback, rather than creating worry that they might lose the thing that other people find valuable.

   • For example: "I love how you interact with little kids. You're so patient!" or "You did a great job on that poster! I just can't stop looking at it!"
3. 
   

   
   3
   Focus the compliment on them. You want to actually compliment them, not some inanimate object. For example,"You look fabulous in that sweater!" is better than, "I like how that sweater looks on you."
4. 
   

   
   4
   Look for things that they value. If you're trying to come up with something to compliment someone on, try to look at the things that you know they value. Look back on your interactions with them and think about things they talked about, or just pay more attention to this in the future.

   • For example, if you notice your girlfriend looking sadly at another girl's clothes and saying that she wished she could dress like that, tell her how much you love how she dresses and that you didn't even notice the other girl.
5. 
   

   
   5
   Look for things that they struggle with.Another indicator you can look at is what someone struggles with. If they're trying to lose weight, praise their hard work and determination (but not the loss of weight itself). If they put a ton of effort into a report, praise them for the quality.
   Advertisement

EditPart Three of Three:
Specific Situations

1. 
   

   
   1
   Compliment a stranger.

   • Avoid overly familiar compliments, like compliments about their sexual characteristics.
   • Compliment things they obviously take pride in, such as a very nice coat, a well-kept car, or a hand-made accessory.
   • Compliment their actions or something you witness, such as after you see them be very nice to a cashier. This removes most of the creep factor.
     
     

     
   • Example: "Thank you for being so kind with that man. It's hard to be patient in that situation. I'm really impressed with how you handled it."
2. 
   

   
   2
   Compliment a romantic interest.

   • Don't compliment expecting anything in return. Just because you're nice to someone doesn't mean they owe you anything. They don't even owe it to you to be flattered by the compliment.
     
     

     
   • Compliment them with your actions. In romance, doing something nice for someone can often be more effective than saying something nice to someone.
     

It feels good to receive a compliment. Compliments bring positive feelings that come because someone has noticed something about you they deemed worthy of praise. Compliments are important components of sociability and are also useful devices for beginning conversations. For some, giving compliments is an uncomfortable venture because of uncertainties. If you can relate to this anxiety, start at Step 1 to learn how to suitably give compliments.

Ad

EditPart One of Three:
Complimenting Correctly

1. 
   

   
   1
   Be genuine. When you say compliments that you don't mean, people can almost always tell. If you really mean the thing you say, they'll be much more likely to believe you and feel good about what you say.

   • Try to look someone in the eye when you compliment them. This helps show that you mean what you're saying.
     
     

     
   • Being specific in your compliment will also make that compliment sound more genuine. For example, saying "That sweater looks nice on you" isn't nearly as nice sounding as "Your eyes just sparkle when you wear that color".
2. 
   

   
   2
   Be respectful. Make sure what you're saying to someone isn't offensive, even if you "mean it to be a compliment". If your compliment is based on their race or their physical appearance, you're venturing into dangerous territory. If your compliment comes with a qualifier (ex. "You look nice for a..."), you probably should just keep it to yourself.

   • For example, telling a woman that she looks so pretty when she wears makeup (which implies that she isn't pretty normally). Another example would be racist compliments, such as saying that a guy is "smart for a black dude".
3. 
   

   
   3
   Time compliments carefully. There are some compliments which are inappropriate in certain situations. Make sure you look at the context of what's going on before you compliment someone.

   • For example, complimenting a female coworker on her appearance after she's just given a presentation is demeaning and belittles the hard work she just put in.
   • If you're complimenting someone on doing something very well, such as preparing a meal or giving a great presentation, you should try to do it at the time, in front of everyone else. Having witnesses validates the compliment and gives the receiver a feeling of respect.
     
     

     
4. 
   

   
   4
   Don't make it about you. Don't turn a compliment towards someone into a conversation about you. This makes you seem self-centered, and like you only complimented them to fish compliments for yourself or make the conversation about you.

   • For example, don't say something like "You did such a good job with that thing last week. I couldn't have done that. I'm rubbish at it."
   Advertisement

EditPart Two of Three:
Finding Things to Compliment

1. 
   

   
   1
   Let it come in the moment. The best way to ensure that you sound genuine is to compliment someone when the positive thought comes to you. Basically: speak your mind! If you want to say something nice to someone, just do it instead of planning it out.
2. 
   

   
   2
   Focus on things they control. When you're complimenting someone, it's best to focus on complimenting things that are under their control (such as their personality, their accomplishments, etc.). This will help them to feel secure in that positive feedback, rather than creating worry that they might lose the thing that other people find valuable.

   • For example: "I love how you interact with little kids. You're so patient!" or "You did a great job on that poster! I just can't stop looking at it!"
3. 
   

   
   3
   Focus the compliment on them. You want to actually compliment them, not some inanimate object. For example,"You look fabulous in that sweater!" is better than, "I like how that sweater looks on you."
4. 
   

   
   4
   Look for things that they value. If you're trying to come up with something to compliment someone on, try to look at the things that you know they value. Look back on your interactions with them and think about things they talked about, or just pay more attention to this in the future.

   • For example, if you notice your girlfriend looking sadly at another girl's clothes and saying that she wished she could dress like that, tell her how much you love how she dresses and that you didn't even notice the other girl.
5. 
   

   
   5
   Look for things that they struggle with.Another indicator you can look at is what someone struggles with. If they're trying to lose weight, praise their hard work and determination (but not the loss of weight itself). If they put a ton of effort into a report, praise them for the quality.
   Advertisement

EditPart Three of Three:
Specific Situations

1. 
   

   
   1
   Compliment a stranger.

   • Avoid overly familiar compliments, like compliments about their sexual characteristics.
   • Compliment things they obviously take pride in, such as a very nice coat, a well-kept car, or a hand-made accessory.
   • Compliment their actions or something you witness, such as after you see them be very nice to a cashier. This removes most of the creep factor.
     
     

     
   • Example: "Thank you for being so kind with that man. It's hard to be patient in that situation. I'm really impressed with how you handled it."
2. 
   

   
   2
   Compliment a romantic interest.

   • Don't compliment expecting anything in return. Just because you're nice to someone doesn't mean they owe you anything. They don't even owe it to you to be flattered by the compliment.
     
     

     
   • Compliment them with your actions. In romance, doing something nice for someone can often be more effective than saying something nice to someone.