This touched me. 

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. 

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. 

She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,’ Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' 

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. 

Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word - 

Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to ALMIGHTY GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - 

Think of someone who died too young.

Before you complain about your children -

Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - 

Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive 

Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - 

Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - 

Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - 

Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

And before you think of closing your Whatsapp messenger, Please think of sending this to as many people . It might change someone's thinking towards Life. Remain blessed. 🙌

🍃🍂🍃 🍂🍃🍂 🍃🍂🍃

           ✅ रिश्तों की दोस्ती

➡ पत्नी के दिल में भी झाककर देखों ,

खोई हुई गर्ल फ्रेंड मिल जाएगी.

➡ कभी बेटे से दोस्ती करके देखों ,

जवानी फिर से दस्तक दे जाएगी.

➡ सबसे पहला दोस्त याद करके देखों ,

माँ की याद तो आ ही जाएगी.

➡ बुढे बाप से दो बाते कर के देखो,

एक सुलझी दोस्ती घर में ही मिल जाएगी.

➡ ईश्वर से दोस्ती का हाथ बढा कर देखो,

कृष्ण की लिला समज में आ जाएगी.

✅ क्यूं दोस्तों में रिश्तें ढुंढते हो,

रिश्तों में दोस्त ढुंढो जिंदगी बन जाएगी..!!!

🍃🍂🍃🍂~🎭~🍂🍃🍂

🙏  OM SAI RAM  👏

21/08/15 22:52:39: Gurbani Uncle: जीवन का मूल्य :

गुरुनानक Saheb के पास एक आदमी

 गया और उसने कहा बताईये गुरूजी

 जीवन का मूल्य क्या है?

गुरूनानक ने उसे एक Stone दिया 

और कहा , जा और इस stone का 

मूल्य पता करके आ , लेकिन ध्यान 

रखना stone को बेचना नही है I

वह आदमी stone को बाजार मे एक

 संतरे वाले के पास लेकर गया और

 संतरे वाले को दिखाया l

बोला "बता , इसकी कीमत क्या है?

संतरे वाला चमकीले stone को देख 

कर बोला, "12 संतरे लेजा और इसे 

मुझे दे जा" 

वह आदमी संतरे वाले से बोला गुरू 

ने कहा है इसे बेचना नही है l

और 

आगे एक सब्जी वाले के पास गया, 

उसे stone दिखाया l सब्जी वाले ने 

उस चमकीले stone को देखा और

 कहा "एक बोरी आलू ले जा और 

इस stone को मेरे पास छोड़ जा"

उस आदमी ने कहा , मुझे इसे बेचना 

नही है , मेरे गुरू ने मना किया है I

आगे एक सोना बेचने वाले सुनार के 

पास गया उसे stone दिखाया सुनार

 उस चमकीले stone को देखकर बोला

 "50 लाख मे बेच दे" l उसने मना कर

 दिया तो सुनार बोला "2 करोड़ मे दे दे 

या बता इसकी कीमत जो माँगेगा वह

 दूँगा तुझे

उस आदमी ने सुनार से कहा मेरे गुरू

 ने इसे बेचने से मना किया है l

आगे हीरे बेचने वाले एक जौहरी के पास

 गया उसे stone दिखाया l जौहरी ने जब

 उस बेसकीमती रुबी को देखा , तो पहले

 उसने रुबी के पास एक लाल कपडा

 बिछाया फिर उस बेसकीमती रुबी की

 परिक्रमा लगाई माथा टेका l फिर जौहरी

 बोला , "कहा से लाया है ये बेसकीमती

 रुबी

"सारी कायनात , सारी दुनिया को बेचकर

 भी इसकी कीमत नही लगाई जा सकती 

ये तो बेसकीमती है l"

वह आदमी हैरान परेशान होकर सीधे गुरू

 के पास आया l अपनी आप बिती बताई

 और बोला

"अब बताओ गुरूजी मानवीय जीवन का

 मूल्य क्या है?

गुरूनानक बोले :

तूने पहले stone को संतरे वाले को

 दिखाया उसने इसकी कीमत 

"12 संतरे" की बताई l

आगे सब्जी वाले के पास गया उसने 

इसकी कीमत "1 बोरी आलू" बताई l

आगे सुनार ने "2 करोड़" बताई l

और 

जौहरी ने इसे "बेसकीमती" बताया l

अब ऐसे ही तेरा मानवीय मूल्य है lतू बेशक हीरा है लेकिन सामने वाला तेरा आकलन अपनी औकात अपनी जानकारी और अपनी हैसियत और मकसद से लगाएगा। घबराओ मत दुनिया में तुझे पहचानने वाले भी मिल जायेगे।

Respect Yourself,

You are also Unique,

No One Can Replace You.

22/08/15 08:11:59: Gurbani Uncle: .

.

Any Person can make you realise how wonderful the world is..

But

Only few will make you realise how wonderful you are in their world.

Always Care for those few..

😊😊Have a great day😊😊

How to Work with Someone You Hate

• Amy Gallo

JANUARY 30, 2012

 
 
 

Working with someone you hate can be distracting and draining. Pompous jerk, annoying nudge, or incessant complainer, an insufferable colleague can negatively affect your attitude and performance. Instead of focusing on the work you have to do together, you may end up wasting time and energy trying to keep your emotions in check and attempting to manage the person’s behavior. Fortunately, with the right tactics, you can still have a productive working relationship with someone you can’t stand.

What the Experts Say
If you work with someone you don’t like, you’re not alone. The detested co-worker is a familiar archetype. Robert Sutton, a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford University and the author of Good Boss, Bad Bossand The No Asshole Rule, says this is part of the human condition. “There are always other people — be they relatives, fellow commuters, neighbors, or coworkers — who we are at risk of tangling with,” he says. Avoiding people you don’t like is generally a successful tactic but it’s not always possible in a workplace. “Some people are there, like it or not,” points out Daniel Goleman, the co-director of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at Rutgers University and author of The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights. Next time you find yourself shooting daggers at the person in the cubicle next to you, consider the following advice.

Manage your reaction
Your response to your dreaded co-worker may range from slight discomfort to outright hostility. Goleman says the first step is to manage it. He suggests that if there is someone who is annoying or abrasive, don’t think about how the person acts, think about how you react. It’s far more productive to focus on your own behavior because you can control it. To handle your triggers, Goleman advises you practice a relaxation method daily. This will “enhance your ability to handle stress, which means the annoying person isn’t that annoying anymore,” he says.

Keep your distaste to yourself
While working through your displeasure, avoid the temptation to gripe with other coworkers. Don’t corner someone by the water cooler and say, “There’s something about Jessica I don’t like, don’t you agree?” Sutton notes that we all have a tendency to look for confirmation of our own opinions, but we should also resist it. “Because emotions are so contagious, you can bring everyone down,” Sutton says. Besides, complaining about someone in your office can reflect negatively on you. You may garner a reputation as unprofessional or be labeled as the difficult one. If you find you have to vent, choose your support network carefully. Ideally, choose people outside the office.

Consider whether it’s you, not them 
Once you have your reactions in check, think about what it is you don’t like about the person. Is there something specific that sets you off? Is it that she’s just different than you? Does he remind you of your father? Do you wish you had her job? Jealousy and other negative emotions can cause us to wrongly assess and mistreat others. “When someone is doing better than us, we tend to scorn them,” Sutton says. Differences can make us biased. “Our favorite person in the world is ourselves. The more different someone is from us, the more likely we are to have a negative reaction to them,” he says. Focus on the behaviors, not the traits, that irk you; this will help you discern stereotypes from true dislike. “Start with the hypothesis that the person is doing things you don’t like but is a good person,” says Sutton. By better understanding what is bothering you, you may also be able to see your role in it. “It’s reasonable to assume you’re part of the problem,” says Sutton. Be honest with yourself about your share of the issue. And be on the lookout for patterns. “If everywhere you go there’s someone you hate, it’s a bad sign,” Sutton warns.

Spend more time with them
“One of the best ways to get to like someone you don’t like is to work on a project that requires coordination,” says Sutton. This may seem counterintuitive since you likely want to run from the room screaming whenever the person is there. But by working together, you can understand him better and perhaps even develop some empathy. “You might feel compassion instead of irritation,” says Goleman. You may discover there are reasons for his actions: stress at home, pressure from his boss, or maybe he’s tried to do what you’re asking for and failed. Spending more time with your foe will also grant you the opportunity to have more positive experiences. But before you sign up to lead the next task force with someone you don’t like, remember that there is one exception: “If it’s someone who violates your sense of what’s moral, getting away isn’t a bad strategy,” says Sutton.

Consider providing feedback
If none of the above has worked, you may want to consider giving your colleague some feedback. It may be that what bothers you is something that regularly gets in her way as a professional. “Don’t assume the person knows how they are coming across,” says Sutton. Of course, you shouldn’t launch into a diatribe about everything she does to annoy you. Focus on behaviors that she can control and describe how they impact you and your work together. If shared carefully, you may help her develop greater self-awareness and increase her effectiveness.

But proceed cautiously. Goleman says whether you give feedback “depends on how artful you are as a communicator and how receptive they are as a person.” If you feel he might be open and you can have a civilized conversation focused on work issues, then go ahead and tread lightly. But if this is a person you suspect will be vindictive or mad, or will turn it into a personal conflict, don’t risk it. “The landmine when giving emotional feedback is that they take it personally and it escalates,” says Goleman. You also need to be open to hearing feedback yourself. If you don’t like him, the chances are good he isn’t very fond of you either.

Adopt a don’t-care attitude
In situations where you are truly stuck and can’t provide feedback Suttons recommends you “practice the fine art of emotional detachment or not giving a shit.” By ignoring the irritating behaviors, you neutralize the affect on you. “If he’s being a pain but you don’t feel the pain, then there’s no problem,” explains Goleman. This type of cognitive reframing can be effective in situations where you have little to no control.

Principles to Remember

Do:

• Manage your own reaction to the behavior first
• Practice emotional detachment so the person’s behaviors don’t bother you
• Spend time trying to get to know the person and better understand what motivates him

Don’t:

• Assume that it is all about the other person — you likely play some part
• Commiserate with others who could be unfairly influenced by your negativity or may judge you for your complaints
• Give feedback unless you can focus on work issues and can avoid a personal conflict

Case study #1: Get to know him
Bruno West*, a senior executive in technology, was responsible for a post merger integration team that included members from both of the pre-merger companies. “It was a highly charged environment with aggressive deadlines and near endless work days,” he says. Harry*, the CFO from one of the companies was particularly challenging; he had a caustic style, often spoke in a pejorative way, and even withheld critical information from Bruno and others. Harry was frustrated by Bruno but tried hard to withhold judgment. “I always ask — do I really not like the person or does their experiences and background cause them to address issues different than I do?” he explains. Whether he liked him or not, Bruno knew that he needed Harry’s participation to be successful. He decided to spend time with Harry’s colleagues in the former company to better understand what it was that Harry brought to the table. They spoke highly of his experience and his long history with the organization. Bruno then took Harry out to dinner and let him vent. “He voiced many concerns and was quite derogatory,” Bruno said. Then he asked Harry to talk about some of the projects he had heard about from his former co-workers. “He shared with pride the teamwork, the late evenings filled with collaboration, shared success and accomplishment.” At the end of the dinner, Bruno felt he better understood Harry and where he was coming from.

Bruno then slowly began to bring up the other stories about past projects during team meetings and asked Harry to explain what he felt they could learn from those experiences. “Momentum became our friend. He wanted to be recognized for his past accomplishments in the eyes of the new company members. Everyone in the former company knew his great value but he felt he needed to prove himself again,” he said. Harry was much more cooperative when others asked for his viewpoint and acknowledged his expertise. Bruno had a much easier time working with him. Harry eventually left the new company but the two parted on good terms.

Case Study #2: Keep a healthy perspective 
When Alex Vanier*, a logistics officer with the Canadian Army, returned from a tour of duty in Kandahar, he was assigned to work for Major Newton*, a maintenance officer in Petawawa, an hour and a half northwest of Ottawa. Alex found the major to be standoffish and quick to criticize. Even worse, the major often unloaded work on Alex. “He gave me things that were his to do and were inappropriate for me to handle,” he says. The major didn’t mentor the people below him and it often seemed he was only looking out for himself. He would ask Alex for candid advice on supply issues and when Alex replied with what he thought was his confidential perspective, the major would forward on his reply unfiltered to the commander. “I didn’t really enjoy working with him at all. He had this real ‘better than you’ attitude,” he says.

Alex tried not to do anything that would put him in close proximity to the major. Since he was his boss, this wasn’t always possible. “I went to work and did my job,” he says. He saw that the major behaved that way with everyone. “I looked at him and thought ‘he has flaws’ but I didn’t take it personally,” he says. He also turned to friends outside of the office with whom he could vent. At one point, Alex thought he would go to the chief of staff to share what was going on but then thought better of it. “I didn’t feel it was my job to go and topple him,” he says. Plus he didn’t want to be seen as a complainer and wasn’t sure sharing his opinion would change anything. Since assignments in the military are often short, Alex decided to wait it out. Eventually the major was sent to another position and Alex filled in for his role for four months. He said it was a vindicating experience because people commented on what a better job he was doing. In the end, Alex says he has no ill will toward the major. He believes it made him more self-aware. “I often ask myself, ‘Is this something I do with my subordinates?” Ultimately he feels he’s a better manager because of it.

20/08/15 07:57:18: Gurbani Uncle: When you arise in the morning think of Almighty's gifts to you ....

Think of what a special privilege it is to be Alive 

to breathe 

to think 

to enjoy 

to love ...

Have a nice day😊

Very nice article by Late  Khushwant Singh. Preserve this .😊

How To Live & Die

I’ve often thought about what it is that makes people happy—what one has to do in order to achieve happiness.

 

1- First and foremost is good health. If you do not enjoy good health, you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct something from your happiness.

 

2- Second, a healthy bank balance. It need not run into crores, but it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be something to spare for recreation—eating out, going to the movies, travel and holidays in the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes.

 

3- Third, your own home. Rented places can never give you the comfort or security of a home that is yours for keeps. If it has garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

 

4- Fourth, an understanding companion, be it your spouse or a friend. If you have too many misunderstandings, it robs you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to be quarrelling all the time.

 

5- Fifth, stop envying those who have done better than you in life—risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

 

6- Sixth, do not allow people to descend on you for gossip. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

 

7- Seventh, cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfill you—gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities, is a criminal waste of time. It’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully.

 

8- Eighth, every morning and evening devote 15 minutes to introspection. In the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be set aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you had intended to do.

 

9- Ninth, don’t lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered, or vengeful. Even when a friend has been rude, just move on.

 

10- Above all, when the time comes to go, one should go like a Person without any regret or grievance against anyone.